35 Ways to Know that
You or Your Parents Are Missionaries

            1.  You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
            2.   You speak two languages, but can't spell either.
            3.   You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean.
            4.   You read National Geographic and recognize someone.
            5.   You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
            6.    You would rather eat seaweed than cafeteria food.
            7.    You consider a city 500 km away to be "very close".
            8.    You watch nature documentaries, and think about how good that animal would taste if it were fried.
            9.   You can cut grass with a machete, but can't start a lawnmower.
            10. You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.
            11. You read the international section before the comics.
            12. Strangers say they can remember you when you were "this tall".
            13. You have friends from or in 29 different countries.
            14. You do your devotions in another language.
            15. You sort your friends by continent.
            16. You realize that furlough is not a vacation.
            17. You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.
            18. You have heard  everything from Reggae to Japanese rap.
            19. You know how to pack.
            20. Fitting 15 or more people into a car seems normal to you.
            21. You prefer gravel roads as highways.
            22. You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.
            23. You don't think that two hours is a long sermon.
            24. You think nothing of straddling white lines to pass between trucks or buses travelling side by side, because "There was plenty of room, officer. Honest! At least 15 centimeters clearance!"
            25. You go to the local Korean restaurant just to listen to the conversation.
            26. You have to have five hot sauces on a Big Mac.
            27. You marvel at the cleanliness of gas station bathrooms.
            28. Your last memories of your parents' families are 20 years old.
            29. You think you've died and gone to Heaven when you go into a foreign grocery store.
            30. You have a name in at least two different languages, and it's not the same one.
            31. You miss the sub-titles when you see the latest movie.
            32. You feel you need to move after you've lived in the same place for a month.
            33. Your idea of a good night is a Japanese cartoon and some seaweed and rice.
            34. You cruise the Internet looking for fonts that support your "native" language's alphabet.
            35. You think a "foreign school" conducts classes in English.