to Do at a Store
- Set all the alarm clocks
to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
- Contaminate the entire
auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
- Challenge other customers
to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Leave cryptic messages on
- Re-dress the mannequins as
you see fit.
- When there are people
behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow
- Walk up to an employee and
tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a
Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
- Ride a display bicycle
through the store; claim you're taking it for a
- Put M&M's on layaway.
- Move "Caution: Wet
Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
- Test the fishing rods and
see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
- Randomly throw things over
into neighboring aisles.
- Play with the calculators
so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
- When someone asks if you
need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you
people just leave me alone?"
"test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
- While handling guns in the
hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
- Hold indoor shopping cart
- Attempt to fit into very
large gym bags.
- Attempt to fit others into
very large gym bags.
- Set up a "Valet
Parking" sign in front of the store.
- Leave Cheerios in Lawn and
Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
- Re-alphabetize the CD's in
- Relax in the patio
furniture until you get kicked out.
- When an announcement comes
over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
- Pay off layaways fifty
cents at a time.
- Drag a lounge chair on
display over to the magazines and relax.