Things to Do at a Store

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
2. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
3. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
4. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters/computers.
5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
6. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
8. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
9. Put M&M's on layaway.
10. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
11. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
12. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
13. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
14. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
15. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
16. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible
17. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
18. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
19. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
20. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
21. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
22. Re-alphabetize the CD's in Electronics.
23. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
24. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
25. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.